Monday, July 7, 2014
Little Feathers: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
Little Feathers: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: Say what you will about the negative aspects of social media. I feel the same 'fear and trembling' when faced with some of the drawb...
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
Say what you will about the negative aspects of social media. I feel the same 'fear and trembling' when faced with some of the drawbacks. Like the great compare-athon, where no one feels they measure up to the glowing lives depicted on facebook. But like everything else, we can use our brains to filter, our judgement to decide what is worthwhile. And there is a lot that is worthwhile.
For me, social media is a way to share the joys in life, to send out affirmations to others, and to learn some great stuff. Not all stuff that we learn on facebook has any connection to reality, but that is where the filter and judgement come in. No doubt, the marketing gurus are using every click, every share, and every "like" in an effort to sell us something. But that is nothing new, either. More filters, more judgement. Getting educated in the process without getting cynical and writing the whole thing off is a matter of choice. And trial and error.
Early on, I shared more of my angst on facebook. Then I realized that that part of my psyche and my life were not for wholesale consumption. My dad used to say to me, "You don't have to tell everything you know." He always said it with a twinkle in his eye, but I realize now he was educating me on self-preservation. I have always heard that words, once spoken, hang in the air forever. That goes double for social media. Long after the cockroaches have inherited the earth, self-centered images and rantings will still be orbiting the sphere of memory.
I kept a diary as a teen, and the constant danger that someone would find it and know just how goofy I am was part of the charm. The best use of it was re-reading it as an adult and gaining some insight into my own chosen paths. The second best use of it was feeding it, page by page, into a campfire. There we come to the ugly part of social media. There is no campfire capable of consuming the words and images we have already sent out to the great public diary in the sky. The one others can read and know just how goofy we are.
I do love to see the life of friends captured in pictures and words on social media. And I know that, for the most part, they are choosing to send out the good, the positive. If we want to know the whole person, then face to face friendship is still the only way to go. I'm not worried that facebook will ever replace personal relationships. To love someone as a friend requires walking with them through the good, the bad, and the ugly. To love someone on facebook is like seeing a beautiful face in a magazine. I love to look at magazines now and then. But I also know how much make-up and staging went into the photo shoot.
For me, social media is a way to share the joys in life, to send out affirmations to others, and to learn some great stuff. Not all stuff that we learn on facebook has any connection to reality, but that is where the filter and judgement come in. No doubt, the marketing gurus are using every click, every share, and every "like" in an effort to sell us something. But that is nothing new, either. More filters, more judgement. Getting educated in the process without getting cynical and writing the whole thing off is a matter of choice. And trial and error.
Early on, I shared more of my angst on facebook. Then I realized that that part of my psyche and my life were not for wholesale consumption. My dad used to say to me, "You don't have to tell everything you know." He always said it with a twinkle in his eye, but I realize now he was educating me on self-preservation. I have always heard that words, once spoken, hang in the air forever. That goes double for social media. Long after the cockroaches have inherited the earth, self-centered images and rantings will still be orbiting the sphere of memory.
I kept a diary as a teen, and the constant danger that someone would find it and know just how goofy I am was part of the charm. The best use of it was re-reading it as an adult and gaining some insight into my own chosen paths. The second best use of it was feeding it, page by page, into a campfire. There we come to the ugly part of social media. There is no campfire capable of consuming the words and images we have already sent out to the great public diary in the sky. The one others can read and know just how goofy we are.
I do love to see the life of friends captured in pictures and words on social media. And I know that, for the most part, they are choosing to send out the good, the positive. If we want to know the whole person, then face to face friendship is still the only way to go. I'm not worried that facebook will ever replace personal relationships. To love someone as a friend requires walking with them through the good, the bad, and the ugly. To love someone on facebook is like seeing a beautiful face in a magazine. I love to look at magazines now and then. But I also know how much make-up and staging went into the photo shoot.
Friday, June 13, 2014
Little Feathers: Looking for the Light
Little Feathers: Looking for the Light: The little mountain valley where we spend the summer is very beautiful this morning. It is quiet except for the birds, and the sun is over t...
Looking for the Light
The little mountain valley where we spend the summer is very beautiful this morning. It is quiet except for the birds, and the sun is over the mountain tops in a blue, blue sky. It seems like the world is perfect, like life is only, simply, beautiful. But I just read where they found a nine year old girl in a refrigerator, dead since January. And I read about people fleeing terrorists, about gunmen and killers of all kinds robbing people of the right to live their lives in peace. How can life be so hard, so terribly hard? I grieve for mothers and fathers who lose their precious ones. I grieve for the disappointments, the lost hopes and despair of so many.
Since the beginning, people have wrestled with the unanswerable question of why so many will live and die with no hope, no justice, no mercy. It can certainly be overwhelming. The tragedies can suck the joy out of us, leaving us adrift in sadness, and powerless. But, it is that very thing I fear the most. That those of us with good lives, those of us who have been blessed with means will throw up our hands at the magnitude of evil and misfortune and do nothing.
I don't want to get stuck in that place. There are things I can do. Every religious leader that honored the sanctity of life urges us to help. When asked how to show love to him, Jesus said over and over, "Feed my lambs". He didn't say, build magnificent cathedrals to me. He said to care for those in need. One remarkable leader said of another: “If humanity is to progress, Gandhi is inescapable. He lived, thought, acted and inspired by the vision of humanity evolving toward a world of peace and harmony.” - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. From another religion: Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love: this is the eternal rule. Buddha. From the IJS: Peace, according to the Jewish sages, is the ultimate purpose of the whole Torah: "All that is written in the Torah was written for the sake of peace." Tanhuma Shoftim 18.
A call to stop the madness is a call to a purpose greater than pursuing our own happiness. It is a call that can be answered a million ways. There is so much opportunity to make a difference using our talents and our resources, and the job description for a warrior for peace is as varied as the personalities combining to make our society. The truth is, every single thing we do tilts the balance one way or another. There are no lives lived that do not affect others.
My friend, Jim Volkema, says that this is not a rehearsal. To me that means, today counts. My efforts today are my opportunity. My friend Earl Maxwell works joyfully and tirelessly to help nonprofits succeed in their missions. My friend Jeri Saper spends a lot of her life working for justice, though she has at least one other full time job. My friend Bunny Oliver has spent thousand of hours working for a colonia in distant Honduras because she cares about the people in that place, who now have education and hope. I hesitate to name people, because there is no stopping once you start the list. I see our kids' generation volunteering for causes that make life better for all of us. And I see so many people who make it their personal mission in life to treat others well, to be honest and generous in their dealing with others.
This is where I find the light. This is where I find the antidote for crippling fear and uncertainty, in the light that is shining out from the lives of people who care to live their belief that we are all in this together. That what we say and do matters. That who we are is what we do. Finding hope in the work of our hands and minds for good does not take away the grief for the little girl in the refrigerator. It does not take away the horror of genocide or the disbelief of gunmen in schools. There will never be enough balm in Gilead to cover the grief of those in the path of madmen. But the effort is our only option. The fight for justice and mercy is not a luxury, it is the only thing that will keep us going as a people. To cave to the darkness and hide in our privileged good fortune will ensure that darkness wins. Do justice. Love mercy. Live kindness. Walk humbly with your God. Ancient words of wisdom that are as important today as ever in history. Words of light to overcome the shadows and utter blackness of despair.
Since the beginning, people have wrestled with the unanswerable question of why so many will live and die with no hope, no justice, no mercy. It can certainly be overwhelming. The tragedies can suck the joy out of us, leaving us adrift in sadness, and powerless. But, it is that very thing I fear the most. That those of us with good lives, those of us who have been blessed with means will throw up our hands at the magnitude of evil and misfortune and do nothing.
I don't want to get stuck in that place. There are things I can do. Every religious leader that honored the sanctity of life urges us to help. When asked how to show love to him, Jesus said over and over, "Feed my lambs". He didn't say, build magnificent cathedrals to me. He said to care for those in need. One remarkable leader said of another: “If humanity is to progress, Gandhi is inescapable. He lived, thought, acted and inspired by the vision of humanity evolving toward a world of peace and harmony.” - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. From another religion: Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love: this is the eternal rule. Buddha. From the IJS: Peace, according to the Jewish sages, is the ultimate purpose of the whole Torah: "All that is written in the Torah was written for the sake of peace." Tanhuma Shoftim 18.
A call to stop the madness is a call to a purpose greater than pursuing our own happiness. It is a call that can be answered a million ways. There is so much opportunity to make a difference using our talents and our resources, and the job description for a warrior for peace is as varied as the personalities combining to make our society. The truth is, every single thing we do tilts the balance one way or another. There are no lives lived that do not affect others.
My friend, Jim Volkema, says that this is not a rehearsal. To me that means, today counts. My efforts today are my opportunity. My friend Earl Maxwell works joyfully and tirelessly to help nonprofits succeed in their missions. My friend Jeri Saper spends a lot of her life working for justice, though she has at least one other full time job. My friend Bunny Oliver has spent thousand of hours working for a colonia in distant Honduras because she cares about the people in that place, who now have education and hope. I hesitate to name people, because there is no stopping once you start the list. I see our kids' generation volunteering for causes that make life better for all of us. And I see so many people who make it their personal mission in life to treat others well, to be honest and generous in their dealing with others.
This is where I find the light. This is where I find the antidote for crippling fear and uncertainty, in the light that is shining out from the lives of people who care to live their belief that we are all in this together. That what we say and do matters. That who we are is what we do. Finding hope in the work of our hands and minds for good does not take away the grief for the little girl in the refrigerator. It does not take away the horror of genocide or the disbelief of gunmen in schools. There will never be enough balm in Gilead to cover the grief of those in the path of madmen. But the effort is our only option. The fight for justice and mercy is not a luxury, it is the only thing that will keep us going as a people. To cave to the darkness and hide in our privileged good fortune will ensure that darkness wins. Do justice. Love mercy. Live kindness. Walk humbly with your God. Ancient words of wisdom that are as important today as ever in history. Words of light to overcome the shadows and utter blackness of despair.
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Little Feathers: What's Good for the Goose and other myths
Little Feathers: What's Good for the Goose and other myths: Back when Bob and I were babies (well, maybe 22 isn't a baby for some,but it was for me) we had a pastor, Bob Hurlbut, who said a remark...
What's Good for the Goose and other myths
Back when Bob and I were babies (well, maybe 22 isn't a baby for some,but it was for me) we had a pastor, Bob Hurlbut, who said a remarkable thing that has stayed with me through the years. During a class on marriage, he taught that all relationship trouble, be it friendship, marriage, business, etc, all relationship trouble can be boiled down to one question: why aren't you like me?
Every now and then, I encounter pressure from one quarter or another that reminds me of that lesson heard so long ago. It can be very hard to disagree without being disagreeable. Just watch a news (read political agenda) show to be convinced.
There is a lot of pressure on people to conform. To be fashionable. To be in on the latest wave of current opinion. And that dishonest, but pervasive, siren call...to be cool.
We all know that what is good for the goose can kill the gander. Wine is a fabulous hobby unless you are an alcoholic. Then, the elixir of the Gods that some people spend a lot of time and money on turns out to be a destroyer of physical, mental and spiritual health. Cheese gets a entire amazing department at Whole Foods, with many people devoted to the nuance of flavors there. Unless you are lactose intolerant. Then, cheese is a quick ticket to distress.
Those examples are obvious. Less so are the items of opinion. Politics. Religion. Justice. I hesitated to include justice, because the part of me that wants everyone to think like I do insists that justice is obvious and non-negotiable. Either it is, or it is not, just. But then, I am the goose. It is so much easier for me to see the goose in others. For those who claim righteous superiority in whatever arena, white feathers float about them. Or me, as the case may be.
We need deliverance from ourselves. Deliverance from believing we are better, smarter, more moral than others. That particular judgement is God's to make. We need to know when we are the goose, and when we are the gander. To see when we are insisting others believe as we do, and when we are buying into a load of crap because it is fashionable.
The choice is always mine as to what I will buy into. I can't really blame others. The victim mentality is rampant in our world. But I choose what to believe, and I choose how to behave. Letting go of the notion that I can control what anyone else believes or does is also a choice. Why aren't you like me? Because I am my own goose. And you are your own gander. Long live free will.
Every now and then, I encounter pressure from one quarter or another that reminds me of that lesson heard so long ago. It can be very hard to disagree without being disagreeable. Just watch a news (read political agenda) show to be convinced.
There is a lot of pressure on people to conform. To be fashionable. To be in on the latest wave of current opinion. And that dishonest, but pervasive, siren call...to be cool.
We all know that what is good for the goose can kill the gander. Wine is a fabulous hobby unless you are an alcoholic. Then, the elixir of the Gods that some people spend a lot of time and money on turns out to be a destroyer of physical, mental and spiritual health. Cheese gets a entire amazing department at Whole Foods, with many people devoted to the nuance of flavors there. Unless you are lactose intolerant. Then, cheese is a quick ticket to distress.
Those examples are obvious. Less so are the items of opinion. Politics. Religion. Justice. I hesitated to include justice, because the part of me that wants everyone to think like I do insists that justice is obvious and non-negotiable. Either it is, or it is not, just. But then, I am the goose. It is so much easier for me to see the goose in others. For those who claim righteous superiority in whatever arena, white feathers float about them. Or me, as the case may be.
We need deliverance from ourselves. Deliverance from believing we are better, smarter, more moral than others. That particular judgement is God's to make. We need to know when we are the goose, and when we are the gander. To see when we are insisting others believe as we do, and when we are buying into a load of crap because it is fashionable.
The choice is always mine as to what I will buy into. I can't really blame others. The victim mentality is rampant in our world. But I choose what to believe, and I choose how to behave. Letting go of the notion that I can control what anyone else believes or does is also a choice. Why aren't you like me? Because I am my own goose. And you are your own gander. Long live free will.
Friday, May 9, 2014
Little Feathers: If Wishes Were Horses
Little Feathers: If Wishes Were Horses: I remember reading Erma Bombeck's last book. In it there was a list of things she wished she had done differently. One item that struck ...
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